You know what really burns my ass?

My dialysis chair. Literally. One of the harsh truths about receiving hemodialysis treatment is that you, more often than not, find yourself cold while you are enduring your 3-4 hour long treatment.

It makes sense considering a moderate amount of your blood volume is being cycled through a machine and out of your body at any given time during the process. Most hemodialysis machines come equipped with a function that keeps your blood warm, but temperature is set low and many nurses aren't keen on bumping it up. To make matters worse, most of the units and clinics that host dialysis patients are cold af.

However....at my clinic we are fortunate to have chairs that have a heart and massage option. And because I'm often colder than Sam McGee, I abuse both options for most of my time while there.

Problem is that I'm also fairly narcapleptic while at dialysis... something about the soothing hum of my life's blood being sucked out of my corporeal being lulls me asleep. So yeah...I fell asleep and burnt my buns.

Learn from my stupidity and set your butt warmer at a reasonable step-one setting.

The blankets provided at clinics are thin, paltry things- bring your own whenever possible. If you are chronically chilly like me you may benefit from a weighted blanket.

Other methods I've found that stave off the deathly chill of mechanical blood-letting:

The fashion-forward faux sherpa Comfy sweater/blanket

Ugly grandma slippers

A battery-operated heated shawl.

Remember, everyone else is sickly and cranky too. Fashion is the least of your worries. That being said, I did invest in a few garish, fluffy sweaters that are equal parts cozy and ugly-cute. So feel empowered by pumping up your dialysis wardrobe with pieces that make you happy and reflect your personality.